So, even with all the charity and fun celebrity shenanigans, we know that each episode of "The Celebrity Apprentice" is actually a two-hour long advertisement for whatever company is sponsoring that week's task. The May 9 sponsor was BridgeStreet Worldwide... not that Donald Trump Jr. could be bothered to remember that while introducing the task.
Donald Trump Sr. doesn't hesitate to scold his son like he's still a kid. "Say the whole thing again," Trump tells Trump Jr. "You blew it. The kid will never be his father."
Did we just get a glimpse of what it was like growing up in the Trump household? If so... ouch.
BridgeStreet Worldwide assigns the teams to decorate executive apartments - places that corporate types live for a few weeks to ninety days while they're doing business in New York City.
Before letting the teams get to work, Trump does a little switcheroo. Last week, Maria and Sharon ranted about their random hatred for Curtis... so Trump sticks Curtis with them, sending Bret over to work with Holly and Cyndi.
With Summer gone, Holly is now the most boring apprentice. She's Tenacity's project manager, and this week, her job is pretty much the same as always: reigning Cyndi in. Cyndi starts off upset, because according to her, "nobody sticks up for the gays!' and she's very distraught about it.
So why doesn't she step up to the plate and be project manager? Last time Holly won, she made so much money she started handing some of it out to Sharon.
Cyndi does come in handy with the decorating. She chooses fun, eclectic pieces, and arranges things in new ways - their "Celebrity Room" features an ornate birdhouse with red shoes inside it. Why? Who knows. But it looks cool.
As much as Cyndi helped out in making the Celeb Room look luxe, she turned her team (and us) off when she was rude and sharp to the handymen hired to help them churn out an entire apartment in 24 hours. There's nothing more lame than a gazillionaire celebrity rock star being rude to the help. We've loved Cyndi since the first episode, but that crossed a line.
Well, you have to give these women credit for being creative. Sharon calls the design store and gets a list of everything Holly bought. Sneaky sneaky. When one of the judges stopped by to look at the apartment before they'd done any work, Maria flaunted her... um... assets to distract him from their unfinished rooms.
Curtis somehow managed to win the women over as he focused on the kitchen. Those muffins looked so delicious that we almost didn't notice the giant knife Curtis stuck in the kitchen counter. Again: Why?
BridgeStreet doesn't like Tenacity's apartment because of the hideous shade of seafoam green in the bedroom, and we don't blame them. It looks like Miami in the '80s. Hideous dot com.
When Rock Solid wins, Sharon lays a giant kiss right on Curtis's mouth, and he lights up like a Christmas tree. We haven't seen anyone change colors so rapidly since Violet Beauregarde stole Willy Wonka's three-course gum.
In the end, Cyndi was out. We're sad! Who will randomly burst into song next week? Who will abuse the little people? What will Holly have to talk about without Cyndi there to be "creative" and "unfocused"?
Only two episodes left. Might Bret make it to the finale, and if he does, will he show up in person after his dangerous brain hemorrhage?